Special Guest Sar

Sar graciously provided this story. Click her ruby slippers to hear a great Ghost story told in a voice like a bell.

El Pulmon Del Mundo*

Story #11, in which three American eco-tourists learn that in the Lung of the World, it's blood that counts.

Swim with the dolphin and never mind the Pirañas if you want to hear the story.







Pet a stand-in for my pet owl monkey, Roly-Poly to read the story.

The Battle of Bee Mountain

Story #10, in which the Pascover family learns the value of thinking ahead.

To experience the trip, take California Highway 14.

To read the story, swat the bee.


Happy belated birthday and best wishes to Jamie Dawn!

Monika's Birthday

Here's a great story from my friend, Monika. Thanks, M.

East Germany 1982, 17th July

I was, at that time, one of three siblings. Four would add themselves later on.
We had just moved into a new flat, ´cause mom had left her 2ond husband and wanted to get as far away as possible.

It was my birthday and my mom had promissed that we would go to the bakery and I could pick a piece of cake...anything I´d like. The night before was spent with anticipation and images of all cake shapes, varieties and colours.

On my birthday morning, we did indeed go. Just me and mom. I could taste the sugar disolving on my lips. Money was very tight in my family, my mom being on her own and everything. Even back then I knew the honour that she was bestowing on me.

When we got into the bakery, it was filled with people. We had to wait for a very long time in line. Fianlly it was my mom´s turn and she asked me what I wanted. The problem, however, was that I couldn´t see because a rather big woman was infront of me and not making any space, so I said to my mom: “I can´t see, the fat lady is infront of me!” which was followed by a slap into my face and a pain I could not have imagined. We left without the cake...
Years later my mom would repeat this incident to whoever wnated o listen, with a slight change in emphasis.

Inappropriate, adj. As with truth it has three sides. My side, your side and what really happened!

Aged a Day

Story #9, in which Doug learns what the years can't take away.


To hear the story, click the image of Atlanta at dawn.






To read the story, click on downtown at dusk.

Willie Dreams Big

Story #8: In which we learn from Willie that delusions can come true.

To listen to Willie's story, click his image:


To read Willie's story, click his self-image:


For no good reason, look at this cool gif:

Anyone got a story for me this week?

All The Better

Story #7: In which Walela revises an old fairytale and tragedy is easily averted.

To hear the story, warn Little Red Riding Hood.

To read the story, feed the wolf:

The Battle of Bullfrog Meadow

Announcing a whole new way to "enjoy" these stories
In order to resolve technical problems, I am now hosting the stories on Audioblog.com. One result: The saturday stories are now a podcast. How cool is that?

Story #6, In which Doug and Craig learn proper roping etiquette.


To hear the story, click on Doug circa 1987.






To read the story, click on Craig as he appears today:

Note, I'm having technical problems recording which is why there's static and poor delivery this week and problems with hosting so previous weeks' stories are probably down temporarily. Hopefully I'll be well by Saturday.

Pansi's Audiobiography

Note: Geocities and I are having relationship issues. This post should be working because Apple rocks but the other stories may not work until I can fix links. Tomorrow's story is at risk, but I plan to resume by next Saturday.

Warning: Some material may not be appropriate for children or people who like children

Thanks, to Weirsdo for smuggling this recording of Pansi telling the true story of how she conquered heartbreak and poverty to be come a superstar.

Click on Pansi to hear her story:


Weirsdo offers the following new word as well: Pansify, v.t. Reduce to a state of confusion bordering on the surreal.

Andy Prepares for Manhood

Story #5, in which my father teaches my brother about manly behavior.

To hear the wise man pet his camel:

To read the story educate Andy:

Tony and The Bear in The Land of The Cockatoo

Story #4: In which Doug suffers an identity crisis and learns a lesson about male bonding.

Poke the bear to hear the story.

If you want to read the story instead, say hallo to my leetle frien'


See below for the first friendly submission.

I'll be delighted to receive more submissions.

Tom's Story

Listen to the first submission from a friend by clicking Here.

A definition to accompany this story is in the comments.

It's Not a Choice, This is How God Made Me

Story #3, In which Doug goes to a gay picnic and gains insight into his own orientation.

Toss the salad to hear the story.

Grab the hot dog to read the story.

I just bet this is the week someone will send me their audio story to post here.

Tim and Doug briefly join the military

In which Tim and Doug learn there's a fine line between a cowboy and an enemy combatant and cross it a couple times.

This is the second story from Waking Ambrose.

Salute the pilot to hear the story.

Stroke Tim's cheesy beard to read it.

I would love to post your stories as well, particularly audioblogs. Here's what I'm thinking...You make the story and store it on-line then send me the link. As long as you leave out explicit images and language, I'll post it here and write a new word definition, a la Waking Ambrose to accompany it.

Story #1: Nancy, Mike and Doug in Plato's cavern

In which Doug and his friends Mike and Nancy Armstrong go caving and learn valuable lessons about preparation.

Darkness, n. The most efficient source of illumination.

Poke the dragon to hear the first story.

Stroke the caveman to read the story as a pdf download.