Friday, January 21, 2011

Prestidigitation

I met a young man sitting between the trees
Juggling percents and trilion-threes,
Buzzing like a swarm of bees,
I asked of his anxieties.

"Exports have fallen four percent,
Unemployment's higher than the rent,
Immigrations up and still they're sent
And bankers borrow what they haven't lent.

"The reminbi," he said to me,
"Is lower than it ought to be
Gas is high and, can't you see?
Freedom's never bought for free!"

His worries seemed to be amounting
To hysteria in his accounting.
I asked, "Why sit with crises mounting?"
He said, "I'm not idle, man- I'm counting!"

23 comments:

TLP said...

They also serve who only sit and count.

BTW, nice job

Minka said...

A second job option for the Artful Dodger... well that, or origami.

Rose LeMort said...

Percents of two thousand threes. Clever fellow! I am simply hoping to become part of the One Percent. No, not the motorcycle club. The one percent of people who actually become renowned for their writing!
Very clever poem indeed.
Submitting a story with no cussing...now, for me, that would be a challenge! I'll have to see if I'm up to it. I am what you might call an embarrassing aunt, after all.

Karen said...

A yuan-sided argument.

tsduff said...

The poem is great - and I learned two new words.

Anonymous said...

rants and raves

anxieties butterfly
on airwave journeys
imagine closeted
away

fear has its day

........

Kyahgirl said...

I like that word 'prestidigitation' Doug.

Well done on the poem...you could take it to the business news channel and get everyone all a-tizzy!

Nessa said...

Counting usually calms me down. Pour guy.

Nessa said...

Maybe the poor guy should pour a beer. Sheesh.

cooper said...

Knowing that you don't lose your touch after a respite must feel good.

Ariel the Thief said...

Wow, nice trees!

Doug said...

TLP, that's mostly who does serve.

Minka, Origami if he's a patriot.

Rose, good luck to you.

Karen, can't be too many Yuan jokes I hear.

Terry, what's the other one?

Bear, I'm learning to do without the airwaves.

Kyah, they're tizzied enough, but thank you.

Nessa, he'd have to keep up.

Cooper, it's a counted blessing.

You bet, Ariel.

actonbell said...

I love it! And I admire prestidigitation, even though words that can't be spelled aloud are scary.

Karen said...

Yuan for the money.

Karen said...

Yuan-way bet.

Jim said...

Excellent, Doug! Perhaps your yuan counter wouldn't be so anxious if he were paid better for his counting.

I majored in economics. The term, renminbi, didn't compute so I had to Google it: "The renminbi (literally people's currency ) or the yuan is the official currency in the mainland of the People's Republic of China (PRC)."
I knew Yuan and even had a few while we were visiting. Mostly Master Card did better than my Yuan.

The gist of this as I see it as relating to my experience is dont' worry so much about the Yuan and things, just charge it.
..

Russell 'C.J.' Duffy said...

Excellent.

Londoner's used to call it being 'skint' or 'brasic.'
No matter the slang or language when there isn't any money ie there?!

Karen said...

Jim,

First, why would you announce that, as an Economics major, you were unaware of the renminbi? Second, the yuan joke has nothing to do with you - whatsoever.

Furthermore, I do not appreciate your accompanying comment on Flippantly Florida. Obviously, my taste in satire is not yours, and, your brand of humor is completely unacceptable and unwelcome.
..

Doug,

I hope you aware of the above. For some unknown reason, James V. Hovendick, J.D., believes
he is entitled to rude behavior because he is a frequent commenter on this blog.

Have you ever thought about establishing a pay-wall?

Karen

Mikki Marshall said...

Love it! Counting indeed; he's run out of fingers at this point and better move on to leaves.

Doug said...

Actonbell, if you are going to spell that word, I think it might actually be an advantage to stutter.

Yes, yes, Karen. May you never run out.

Jim, I also majored in Economics and we didn't have that term either.

C.J., slang is a poor man's currency, dagnabit.

Karen, I don't think we called Chinese currency anything but Yen or Yuan until fairly recently. Jim is entitled to comment here and is never rude.

Haha, Mikki. Yup, he'll get to the leaves.

pia said...

Where have I been? Oh right trying to jump start my "career" because--well you said it all

Loved this poem though I think you've been inside my head--except for the end which could be take several ways

Doug said...

Pia, I might have been your head-adjacent.

weirsdo said...

I don't mind the bean counters. But when they start putting them up their noses I worry.