Pansi's Liberry Tradgedy

Print version:
Mall Diva: Welcome, children, to Story Time. And today we're going to have a couple of stories. The FIRST story is going to be--
Pansi: Will boooks be involved?
Mall Diva: That is Pansi. She's going to read our first story.
Pansi: Read?
Mall Diva: No. She's going to TELL us our first story.
Pansi (relieved): Oh, good.
Mall Diva: Now. Pansi--well, could you please tell the children something?
Pansi: O. k. How 'bout if I tell them about the time when Dicky was homeschooling Blop and Blurp? It's real sad.
Toyplayer: That's fine, Pansi.
Mall Diva: And that was Toyplayer; he's going to talk to you in a second. All right, Pansi, why don't you just go right ahead?
Pansi: O. k., well Dicky had come home from a drinking establishment, and he was--
(Mall Diva gasps multisyllabically.)
(Pause)
Pansi: Are--are you nauseous?
Mall Diva: Please! That's enough. Good-bye! Our next story--
Pansi: Good BYE!! I am a Superstar. Excuse me, but you can't treat me like this--
Toyplayer (interrupting excitedly): (Incoherent, then--) Naked Gymnastics for JESUS!
Pansi (Mall Diva still gasping in background): I can't work with these PEOPLE!

Weirsdo's definition: Library (n.): Site entrusted with maintaining communal wellbeing through censorship.