The Mad Chemist of Calgary

Story #62, in which a soft-spoken scientist takes her revenge.

To hear the story, ask the chemist if she takes cream.







For the silent version, ask Maria if anything's the matter.

This week in The Prattler, "Restoration."

Crikey!

#61, in which Doug learns that after three weeks in Australia he's still not Steve Irwin

To hear the story, kiss my little friend








To read the story, give him a bath.

This week in The Prattler, a "Reliable and Probative."

Poem by Old Mule

Poem contributed by the Old Mule.

Still Life with Apples

#60, in which a slow fella chases a fast girl.

To hear the story, tap the amphora









To read the story, catch the bird.

This week in The Prattler, a "Green Piece."

The Village Idiot

#59, duh.

To hear the poem, jingle the bells.











To read the rhyme, click the sign.

This week in The Prattler, "Plan F."

Towering

Story #58, in which a princess lets her hair down.

To hear the story, climb the tower.




Happy birthday to Sonia, benevolent despot.

This week in The Prattler, "Now for some Joementum."






To read the story, tilt at the windmill.

Mestizo

Story #57, in which Doug doesn't hitch-hike.

To hear the story, catch that plane.






To read the story, visit scenic Florianopolis and tell me how it is.




And Happy Birthday to Princess Lucia from



and



and me

This week (around 9AM EDT) in The Prattler, The Root Causes of George W. Bush.

America's Most Wanted

The story of a Stiletto-heeled 19-year-old Belle of the Brawl in the Bahamas. A tale of innocence.

Listen?






Read?



I'm on vacation!

The Big Happy Family

Story #56, The story of a wholesome little girl and her precious little dog.

To hear the story, join the family for dinner.






To read the story, pet the family dog.

Elijah of The Ozarks

Story #55, A prophetic retrospective.

To hear the story, heed Elijah.












To read the story, follow the signs.

This week in The Prattler, "The Economics of Envy."

Northwest Passage

Story #54, A tale of progress.



To hear the story, hold the tree steady.



To read the story, check Babe's ears for mites the size of dogs.

And happy birthday, Sunday, to the artist, Mo'a!
And just as notice, I'll be travelling tomorrow and the whole next week so my apologies if posts get erratic.

This week in The Prattler, "Curious Character." Fair warning: more or less a mindless rant against the character of the President by a tired, cranky and past-deadline curmudgeon. Hier stehe Ich, Ich kann nicht anders, so hilf mir Gott.

Spree

Story #53, in which we find Doug once again hitch-hiking for Pete's sake.

To hear the story, follow the flock.







To read the story, stand your ground.

This week in The Prattler "Keeping An Aye on Treason."

Venetian Blind Love

Story #52, A tale of romance.

To hear the story, come to Venice.










To read the story, sing to lovers

This week in The Prattler, "Into All The World."

The House

Story #51, A tale of the spirit.

To hear the story, come to meet the lady of the house, as drawn by Gustave Dore.












To read the story, come meet the man of the house as drawn by William Blake.

This week in The Prattler, "Knuckle v Tongue Dragging







Happy Canada Day to Canadians! You guys are still up there, right?

And Rabbit! Rabbit!

The Old Gringo

Story #50, In which Ambrose Bierce reaches his destination.

To hear the story, talk to the skull.



To read the story, blow out the candle.


Happy 164th birthday to Ambrose Bierce.

To celebrate, here are two new Bierce-related links:

Did you all know Bierce wrote fables? I didn't until Indie mentioned it sometime back. Here's a Collection.
and, The Devil's Dictionary Defiled, by S.R. Brubaker. Brubaker's site is a well-designed and funny page including definitions by Bierce and Brubaker.


This week in The Prattler, Unheard Of, the challenge to the Voting Rights Act.

The Modern Mariner

Story #49, In which Doug detassels corn in the year of the floating hog.

To hear the story, jump up on the detasseling machine.






To read the story, come to the seed corn field (this one using a 2x6 male to female pattern)




This week in The Prattler, An Open Letter to Dennis Hastert A Note to soccer fans: Dennis Hastert is Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, the lower chamber of Congress

Oh, and Happy Independence Day to our Icelandic friends, Minka, Mo'a and, I think, Terry.

The Court Stenographer

Story #48, In which justice is served.

Oyez! Oyez!
















Transcript follows

This week in The Prattler, Needless Things

Pansi's G-String

Our friend Logo sent Pansi a letter ("G"), with instructions to write about ten words that started with "G." Pansi is not much of a wordsmith, but Mrs. Weirsdo encouraged her and Diamonelle helped,

Diamonelle
Originally uploaded by weirsdo.

and here are the results:

The print version is here.
We hope Mall Diva will let Pansi participate in the library story hour again, and we applaud Doug (AKA P-Doggy) for purveying her talents in this space.

Weirsdo's definition: wordsmith (n.): The smith a mighty person she,
With large and sinewy brain
With the muscles of her scrawny arms
She hurls down words like rain.

Her brow is wet with nervous sweat,
She seldom cooks a meal,
She looks her husband in his face
And says, "You make the veal."

Day in, day out, from noon till night,
You can hear her clicking keys,
Like rats' feet on a sinking ship
Despite her children's pleas.

Thanks, thanks to thee, O worthy smith
For the lessons thou hast taught!
That on the glowing screen of life
Our Fortune is our Thought.

The Program

A contribution by Kyahgirl.


To hear the story encourage Laura/Kyahgirl.











To read the story, salute Laura's friend Nancy.

La Chienne Chanteuse

Story #47 (yeah, yeah, Sar,) because if you want to call a tune, you got to pay the piper.

To hear the story, rosin up the fiddle


To read the story, walk the dog




This week in The Prattler, The Liberal Memorial suggested by this post on Wonderland or Not.